Boundaries

Some Reactions Are Not Always Okay

We have talked about "just going with" whatever your grandparent with Alzheimer's says in order to not stress them out or scare them. However, some actions have to be interrupted for their, and your, wellbeing and safety.

Know the Limits

When should you interrupt a behavior, step back, or get help from a trusted adult?

Physical Harm

Destruction

Leaving the House

If your grandparent begins to hurt themselves, go get help from a parent or a trusted adult

When your grandparent looks as though they are going to become aggressive with you, get as far away from them as possible.

If you can’t leave the room, put a piece of furniture between you and your grandparent to block them from getting close to you

As scary as it can be, try to keep eye contact and a friendly facial expression. Looking scared may only make them more aggressive.

Don’t feel bad: Alzheimer’s causes people to become angry or afraid. It is not anything you did, but instead a response to what is going on in their brain

Physical Harm

If your grandparent breaks your favorite toy or throws their dinner on the food, their brain is freighted or angry and is responding in the easiest way. They are responding like you would during a tantrum

First, go get help from a trusted adult.

Do not go up to your grandparent and pat their back or give them a hug, this may cause them to get more aggressive.

Instead, give them space. You can try to distract them with words, not physical touch.

Destruction

Many times your grandparents will say “I am going to work”. You of course know that they haven’t worked in a long time, and cannot drive. They are simply confused. You know to say “okay! But first, will you help me with this?”.

If they do not respond to your distraction and start putting on their coat and heading out the door, go tell your parents or a trusted adult.

Chasing them out the door or telling them they can’t leave could result in them becoming angry, confused, and even aggressive.

Try saying “work is canceled today!”, or “why don’t you have something to eat first?”

The last thing you want is for your grandparent to be walking down the street alone and confused